31 Aug 2012 Update

Just a note to say I am having a bit of a hard time these lastsix or seven weeks but seem to be improving.  Hope to answer some of the comments that have come in and post an essay or two.  My apologies for not being more proactive of late.  Semper Pax, Dr. Z


  1. I didn’t know where to put this, but I thought this posting would be as good as any to let you know that I find your site both inspiring and validating to my experience. I have suffered the effects of PTSD for 19 years and still struggle with it in my daily life. On the one hand it fills me with a sense of loathing and fear towards society and on the other hand I find that it has cultivated an ability for me to have this immense compassion towards my fellow man because I know what it is to have truly suffered. My PTSD often prevents me from sharing the beauty that is within myself with others. I fear that my effort will not be appreciated and that I will find myself once again dehumanized. In my waking life I keep in mind that God sees through the eyes of many and I try to convey the spirit of good that lives within me despite the wrong I have endured in the past. I am better at expressing my inner thought in writing than I am with personally speaking with those who haven’t yet passed the defensive wall that I constantly have up for the vast majority of people I encounter. Honestly it’s like the whole damn world is suspicious and frightening to me. I don’t like feeling this way and at times I feel like I’m not being a good Christian woman by not being willing to share what Christ has meant to me in my life with others, but you know that’s how the cookie crumbles when the world has taught you from a very young age that you don’t have value unless you’re the most talkative, attractive, or popular amongst your peers. I am at once filled with indignation at the manner in which I have been treated and yet I feel wrong to inflict the pain of my past on those who don’t deserve the consequence. Oh how I wish that I could feel whole enough to let my true spirit shine in my interaction with others. How I wish that I didn’t feel it necessary to remain invisible or just barely noticeable. Hope lives on in my heart that I will one day be able to rise above this. That I will realize my true worth and value. It is my hope that this post finds you well. I pray that you realize the magnitude of what you have contributed here in this site. You have touched me in one day. I am certain you have touched many others as well. May the love of Christ be with you always. Never forget Him in all your ways. Take care.

    • I am overwhelmed by your kindness and that of others. In the last month or so I have received encouragement and prayers for my health problems and people have shared with me what the PTSD Spirituality site is doing for them. And, I find it all to be humbling.

      One of my purposes in writing for this site is to help validate the experiences of trauma survivors and to help them always know they have value; that God loves them. YOU DO HAVE VALUE! PTSD and selfish people will try to convince you otherwise. Not everyone is capable or willing to hear about our experiences or how those experiences damage us still today. Yet, those experiences are real and we will struggle like spring-time flowers to break through a frozen crust of snow in order to feel the light and warmth available to us.

      PTSD will try to make us isolate ourselves and give up on the possibility of healthy relationships. We need to prevent that from happening and at the same time be sure we don’t throw our pearls before those who cannot or will not appreciate the courage it took to just say hello and have a conversation or even to leave the house.

      I am grateful for what you wrote. My health is still giving me a very hard time. Knowing that the website is helpful and that I have the encouragement and prayers of others makes my health problems easier to bear: And, I thank you for that.
      Semper Pax, Dr. Z

  2. Hi Bill, Please accept my belated thanks for your good wishes and the sharing of the link. I can tell you that several others, besides myself, have also clicked in to read it. With any luck I will rise out of this health slump and get back on my feet and my fingers back on the keyboard! Semper Pax, Dr. Z

  3. Hi Amy, Thank you for your light! One of the benefits of the internet is how people can share their concerns, prayers, and journies with one another. This would be be a lot harder without the range of friends the internet can bring. And, thank you for the link! Semper Pax, John

  4. I too send my light to you, John. You have given so much on your journey! Here is a blog I encountered today from someone who is living with ALS http://diseasediary.wordpress.com/about

    I think we all benefit from the lens of those who articulate life lessons! Thank you!

  5. Sorry to hear that you have not been doing well lately. I’ve been missing your articles. I discussed the following with my PTSD Spirituality group yesterday; maybe it will give you some muse: http://www.innerfrontier.org/Practices/NonClinging.htm

    Hope you feel better soon. God bless.

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